A few of the World’s Funniest One-Liners


  1. Always go to other’s people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours. (I admit…I had to think about this one a bit before…ah…DUH!)
  2. There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
  3. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  4. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
  5. I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
  6. If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
  7. If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane. (one of my favorites!)
  8. Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery.
  9. The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! it happened.
  10. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Just in case you needed some laughter for the day… 😉


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